It’s Memorial Day weekend

It’s Memorial Day weekend. A lot of honor and tribute to be paid to those that have and are serving our beautiful country of course. Coming from the Midwest it’s also a time of new beginning. Spring time. Summer of possibilities approaching. 

My memory of Memorial Day is being at the lake, cruising in the boat donned with the American flag. If I were twenty something I’d be out at a lake cabin ‘living it up’ with a drink in hand and the ‘tunes’ blasting around me. The glory days I suppose. 

Instead tonight I spent a beautiful, but super rainy,  Texas night with my family. We played, laughed and sang through our Memorial Day weekend evening. And you know what?! I wouldn’t CHANGE. A. THING. Except for having ALL my other favorite people with me, I could not imagine spending this long weekend any other way. We are spending it together as a family which is the best way possible IMHO. 

After all, isn’t that what it’s about? To honor those that have served and be grateful for them to enjoy these special moments with your own loved ones?! I know I am this weekend. 

How will you spend your Memorial Day weekend?!?

Water into Wine

I failed as a parent today.

I LOVE my kids, but I failed as their mother today. And let me tell you why….

I (hope, feel, believe) that we all have these days no matter the age of our children.

I have an almost three year old and an 8 month old. My almost three year old is the definition of a threenager. He is full of “spirit” as one might categorize. James Thor. It’s a strong name. It’s a family name. He was named after my grandpa, my hubby’s two grandpa’s (Thor and James), uncle and cousins that also have this beautiful strong name. And let me tell you HE. LIVES. UP. TO. IT’S. STRENGTH. He is a strong, independent, determined, curious, persistent, busy, active, and LOUD little boy. I hope/feel/believe that these strong personality traits will be a blessing as he ages, not the curse it feels like now.

I also have an 8 month old daughter. Hannah Marie. She’s so sweet and quiet, especially compared to James. She is DETERMINED. She is in the crawling stage but  she is also DETERMINED to walk. She pulls herself up to standing, and even takes a few steps around furniture. She wants to keep up with the big kids so badly that I fear I will have an early walker on my hands. Summer should be interesting. She is so sweet. She is determined, persistent, opinionated, and so happy.

I have to say that I have hit the jackpot with my kids. Neither of them were big criers as a newborn. Neither have allergies that we know of so far, which includes peanuts. Mom fail, baby got a bite of her brothers PBJ the other day. How you might ask…. good question. I’m still trying to figure that out. Best guess, it was on the floor. Anyway no reaction thankfully. Both of my kids do relatively well at night. They go with the flow. They are happy kids. I really SHOULDN’T complain based on all the scenarios I have come across in my counseling background.

I am in the counseling profession. Now when I say that, I mean I have a graduate degree in mental health and school counseling (K-12). I’d like to think of myself as an intelligent and competent individual. I have been involved in some pretty serious and sad situations through various work and internships.

NOTHING prepared me for my experience as a SAHM to James and Hannah! Mainly James, although I am sure Hannah will give me a run for my “money” later on too. Yet James, he is my challenge for the moment. Today, I was CHALLENGED to my core. Now James really wasn’t too “bad” today. And as his parent, I have to take responsibility for his behaviors in that I am responsible for how he acts. Yes he is an individual, but I am his parent and right now I am his primary learning environment. I don’t know what exactly triggered my reactions today. Possibly the whining, the HIGH decibel screeches, pushing down of the little sister (remember she’s standing while holding on furniture), or just the constant need for attention, but this mommy BLEW HER LID today. I lost it. I hate to admit it, but I did. I failed him as a mother. I raised my voice more than I care to recount today. He was in time out in his room (while mommy snuck in a VERY quick shower…with the baby screaming outside the shower door….). He watched way more screen time than I also care to admit. Everything in my behavior goes against what I am trained to do.

** Please note no animals or children were harmed before or during this blog post**

Do not reward/encourage negative behavior. Speak to children in a calming voice. Do not raise voice. Don’t lose your S&*% when dealing with your kids. This is is educated (and common sense) stuff here people.  Children start to form memories around 3.

I DO NOT want my kids to remember these moments of mommy having a meltdown as their first memory people. Can we say life long therapy, if that’s the case…

I did use this as a “teachable moment” after my many tears were shed at about 2 pm today. I talked with James and explained that even mommy can have a bad day. He proceed to give me kisses and tell me it was ok (melt my heart).  But….

How is it that one small little human is able to push so many buttons, AND know now to do it?!?! How do toddlers have so much energy?? Does it ever stop/get better?!?

Come on other moms out there…I know I’m not alone..right? RIGHT?

However today shed some perspective on my life.

1. I am so lucky to have these two beautiful children.

2. There is stress in all life situations, and I would NOT wish to have it any other way right now.

3. Parenting is CHALLENGING…. this is not a new lesson, just re-iterated.

4. You can sneak in showers.

5. Thank HEAVENS for WINE!

What are your most challenging times as a parent?

Mother’s Day wish list

It will be three years in July that I first became a mother to a beautiful little (and now VERY active) boy. Less than a year ago we welcomed our sweet baby girl. 

   
 

Becoming a mom has many perks and one of those perks is a day honor in all the hard work we as moms do for our children and rest of household. So in honor of Mother’s Day approaching I have compiled a wish list of “gift ideas”. My inspiration for the list came from my good friend that suggested we have two mothers days. One for spending time with the family and one alone.  My wish list focuses in the latter. 

• Uninterrupted coffee drinking time for at least 20 minutes. 
• Getting a good nights sleep. 
• Showering alone with the added bonus of no crying baby. 
• Having baby girl not cry when I walk out of the room because daddy is holding her instead of mommy. 
• Actually completing a workout in the planned time frame. 
• One hour in the house alone so I can read or watch tv or even put away laundry. 
• A clean house, of which I didn’t do myself. I’d even settle for a picked up house. 
• Oh yeah and some quality time spent with my family would be fun too. 😜 possibly at the pool!

What’s on your Mother’s Day wish list?

Understanding boys

I grew up basically surrounded by boys for a significant portion of my young life through college. Yes I have brothers and sisters but all are older and had their own lives to attend to so I spent my time with the ‘hood clan. I was introduced to an assortment of categorically boy oriented activities. This included building random wooden structures, play hockey, climbing, fishing, playing in the dirt (and digging for worms), building forts…you get the idea. To this day I feel lucky to have grown up with these boys I consider my puesdo brothers. Don’t be fooled though. I was into “girly” things like barbies, make up, arts and crafts too. Yet I appreciate the exposure to the crazy world of boys because I think it’s helped me parent a very active, messy and loud little boy. And he is all boy as one might say. Now I don’t care if he wants to play with dolls or barbies but so far he is a tumble in the mud, trucks and cowboys kind of kid.  

       

Yet there are some things is still don’t understand. 

• The fascination with pulling down his pants (or other peoples pants). He find this so funny. 
• The volume and decibels this kid can reach is beyond me. How?!? How can one small two and a half year old create sooo much noise??
• How he can not sit still. Ever. Where does that energy come from?!?
• How boys can disagree/fight with each other one minute and go back to playing the next like nothing happened. 

Now these may not be (probably aren’t) solely a boy thing but the baby girl is too young for me to make the same observations. Either way, as much time I spent around boys, some things I guess I just won’t ever understand. 

Is it nap time yet?

Today has been one of those days where the struggle with small children is very real. Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids. I feel lucky to have them. I love being their mom. Being a mom can also be HARD. Phrases that I have come out of my mouth this morning:

We don’t color on your sister.  Which the toddler replied, yes I do color on her. 

Put your diaper back on. 

It’s not ok to hit your sister, especially on the head… With a toy car. 

Please stop pulling mommy’s pants down. 

Do you ever have those days where no matter what you do, the toddler is just ornry? And omg don’t get me started on the constant repetition of phrases by said toddler. 

I need a jelly [pb&j] sand which x’s 100

I need juice x’s 1,000

Mommy x’s infinity

It’s nice to be needed, but everyone needs a break, amiright?! It probably doesn’t help that I’m running on next to no sleep (and patience) due to the 8 mo old’s need to only sleep when I am holding her. In my tired state of mind Iay also have finished off a pan of brownies. (Don’t judge 😀). At least it was brownies and not the delicious bottle of wine sitting on my counter because that was just as tempting. It will be 5 pm soon enough 😋. 

Yet with all the struggles also come a lot of love and laughter.  After all, it’s hard to stay frustrated at these too cuties. They make it all worth it. Well…   
 

That brownies, and wine. Cheers!

Organizing amidst chaos

I have this obsessive-compulsive need to organize. I do not consider myself an organized person, rather someone that strives for it. Instead I feel like I am constantly trying to keep my head above metaphorical water. But alas I still attempt to organize and beautify my life. Mainly my house. I’m constantly thinking about what I can do to be more organized, efficient and stylish. Now this doesn’t mean my house actually lives up to my wishful thinking. With an active toddler and now busy crawling babe I’m lucky to get a load of laundry washed, folded and put away. Ha! If only!  

Anyway I guess I feel I can finally settle in to our new place here in Texas and make it more our home. For the past seven years we lived in Iowa but I never really settled into our home there. Of course I lived there, made it our home,  but I knew whether continuing to live in Iowa or as it happened, elsewhere, that house was not our long term home. It was our starter home. I was too hesitant to do much of anything to that place knowing we would sell fairly soon down the road. I now feel more settled in our new home and am slowly gaining the confidence to put our own mark on this house. I have recently started painting our master bath. I have one wall done. Yay! I figure it will take me awhile, but I am having fun watching it start to transform. I’ll post some before/after shots in a later post. For now I’ll just keep plugging away at my little project. 

Good morning to you

I woke up this morning at 7:45 am. This is major sleeping in at our house because normally our toddler is up by 6:30 at the very latest. Not today. My entire family slept until at least 7:30 am. It was wonderful!y toddler was quietly playing on the bedroom floor as my hubby got ready for work. The baby soon joined the toddler for play time on the floor. My toddler was being extremely sweet to his little baby sister and it was so fun to watch their interactions. We moved our continued playtime into the living room so I could see them from the kitchen while I brewed coffee and prepped dinner to go into the slow cooker.

Then I heard my son squeal “you clean it up?” As he  saying this he was holding up his foot where there appeared to be some sort of mush on the bottom of his foot. As I squinted to figure out what it was I came to the halting realization. “What is that? Is that poop? Where are the dogs??” (Hiding, that’s where they were.) Next thing I know I’m sprinting into the living room, scooping up my toddler to prevent further spread of poop. I then went to grab something to clean up the pile of dog crap on my floor that was located amongst the baby toys where the 7 month old was playing.

Ahh the 7 month old. She’s now crawling… inching towards the pile of dog poop. She was just in reach before I grabbed her and moved her further away. I proceeded to grab materials to clean up after my dog. Annnnd then remembered my baby is mobile!! Moving her away from the doggie doodoo didn’t matter because she can move towards it which exactly what she was doing.  I got her secured in her jumparoo, cleaned the toddlers foot because amidst the chaos I had yet to clean his foot. (I know, bad mom). I start in on cleaning the pile of poo and accidentally put my hand in a big ol part of it. So now I have dog poop all over my hand, words that should not be spoken around small ears are suddenly flying out of my mouth. Great! Let’s add that to the chaos. Last thing I need is for my toddler to go to his Catholic day care tomorrow and repeat mommy. I finally got the floor all cleaned up (vacuumed and carpet cleaning solution included) and had a little chat with the toddler that mommy said some very bad words and he can not say them. Though I know he stored those to use for the most opportune time I am sure.

Oh well! At least I was able to get dinner in the crock pot. Happy Tuesday all!

Liebster Award

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Leger Lane

It’s been a busy couple of weeks. I had my 30th birthday on March 30th..woot woot. Dirty Thirty and I couldn’t be happier. For some reason turning 25 was harder than 30. Anyway a delightful surprise awaited me in blog land  the other day from my friend Kyley @Leger Lane which made me realize it was time to post another entry. I wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but through Kyley’s insight and her own research I discovered what it was. I am so honored that I was thought of for this award, so thank you to Kyley for that!

My hopes are to gain some more followers to my little blog which from what I gather is the purpose of the award around the blogging community. The rules are to post 11 facts about yourself and also answer the 11 questions provided by the person nominating you. Also it’s your turn to pay it forward and nominate others for the award as well.

11 Random Facts About Me:

• * I love warm weather and am finally fortunate enough to live in warm weather.
• * Up until 10 months ago, I lived in the Midwest (Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Iowa). I consider myself mainly a Minnesotan since I lived there the majority of life.
• * I have two little ones, a 2.5 year old (VERY BUSY) little boy, and a 7 month old little girl.
• * I love coffee. A delicious warm cup o’ coffee in hand, curled up on the couch is pure bliss. That or a beautiful glass of wine.
• * I love to travel and have been to many exciting places, with hopes of many more in the future.
• * I have two sweet cocker spaniels that were our babies before our babies. Now they are really just our dogs, but we still love them like crazy.
• * I come from a huge blended family  on my dad’s side where I am the youngest sibling ( and the only child on my mom’s side). We are a weird, happy, “brady bunch” group that all get along which is wonderful.
• * Last June I graduated with a Master’s degree in counseling which was a huge personal goal on my bucket list in life. I am planning to return to the work force shortly.
• * Currently I am a stay at home mom and have been for the last 10 months since we moved south (I was 7.5 mo pregnant at the time).
• * I studied the German language for 9 years, but can barely remember how to understand/speak it.
• * I love to create, explore and discover new things in life. I’d consider myself a life long learner.

Since I am so new to the blogging community, I really don’t know many people to nominate, but I do have one in mind that has been a dear friend and inspiration to me for many years. I hope she can do the same for you.

My 11 Questions to Answer:

1. Why did you start blogging?

It is mainly a way to get my thoughts down on my everyday life as well as connect and network with others. To me, it’s a creative outlet as well and can be quite therapeutic to let it all out.

2. What is your night-time routine?

My night-time routine consists of bath time with the kids, usually done by my hubby so I can flutter around the house picking up toys, getting rooms ready for bed time, and preparing for the next day. Then after bath and brushed teeth, we get jammies on and read books before lights out. My hubby is usually on duty for our son, while I nurse the baby. She’s a cluster feeder so she eats FOREVER before going to bed. Once she’s asleep, I crash and do it all over again the next day.

3. If you just answered what you do with children at bedtime, what’s YOUR nighttime routine?

Well when I am nursing, I usually try to keep myself awake so I catch up on my favorite tv shows on the iPad (headphones on of course). I typically have a “night-time snack” at this time which is usually grapes (love them). Once the baby is sleepy (or to be quite honest fast asleep) I sneak out of her room and get ready myself. I put my jammies on. I am so glamorous that this usually entails shorts and a t-shirt, then I brush my teeth, wash face, use bathroom and crawl into bed. Before going to sleep I usually put lotion on my hands and feet. My husband laughs because he can’t believe how many things I do before actually going to bed. He’s simple where he just crawls into bed and within minutes he’s asleep. I guess that’s the difference between men and women….

4. What’s your favorite season? Why?

SUMMER. I love warm weather. Growing up in the Midwest, Spring meant wet and cold, winters were unbearable (in my opinion), but summers were beautiful. I always felt anything could happen in summer. I love the heat, the sun and the friendliness that comes with being outside. People just seem happier. Must be all that vitamin D. Fall is a close second favorite season. I love the turning of the leaves and the crisp, cool air. Now living in Texas, I am loving their spring weather which feels like summer in the Midwest. The blue bonnets are in full bloom and are beautiful. However I still love summer, even with extreme heat. It just means more pool time for me.

5. If you had a week off and unlimited funds, where would you go?

I’d travel Asia. I have some friends that live in Asia (Hong Kong, Shanghai) and have traveled much of Asia themselves and love it. Their adventures always seem like such great experiences. I’d love to travel around and visit my friends there. I’d love to experience the food and the culture.

6. What’s the last thing you did for yourself?

I bought a couple of pairs of yoga/work out pants today. Wahoo. So exciting I know, but I rarely buy anything for myself so anytime I do, it’s sort of a big deal. Before today, the last thing I did for myself was going to dinner with a friend of mine. It was much-needed time out of the house.

7. What’s your favorite book?

I don’t really have a favorite book. I have a few favorite series that I read. I am a huge fan of James Patterson, particularly the Women’s Murder Club series. I’d have to say these are my favorite books.

8. What advice would you give 21- year-old you?

I’d tell myself to relax and enjoy life a bit more. To not stress out as much as I did or worry about what might be waiting for me in the future. I’d tell myself to slow down. It will all work out. I’d tell myself to take more chances and risks, try new things. It’s so much easier to do all of that when you don’t have major responsibilities such as jobs, mortgages, and children. LIVE IT UP!

9. What’s your favorite recipe?

I am really not the cook in my house. My husband is fantastic. However my go to recipe is one I make often. It’s a hamburger veggie soup. I typically use turkey burger though. Here it is

• 1-1.5 lbs ground turkey (browned in skillet)
• 1 small onion
• 1 package of frozen mixed veggies
• 1 large can diced tomatoes (with liquid)
• 2 (16 oz) beef stock
• 1 package onion soup mix, and 1 package vegetable soup mix
• 4 cloves garlic
• salt and pepper to taste
• This can be made in the crock pot or on stove top (low settings each)

10. Where do you want to be in ten years?

Ideally, I’d be a partner or have a solo private therapy practice. I’d like to be certified in some other therapy techniques as well. I also hope my children are growing up to be strong, independent, and respectful pre-teens. I hope my family and I are still happy, or happier  because you can’t have too much happy right?

11. How do you find time to blog?

I really don’t find a whole lot of time, hence the quantity of my posts (I think there are 4) but I sometimes fit it in between quiet/nap time or when I am cluster feeding my daughter at night. My ideal blogging experience would be sitting with a (you guessed it) HOT cup of coffee, curled up on the couch with my laptop. For now I’ll settle for cuddling with the baby while I attempt a blog post.

I Nominate:

Amanda @ The Flavors Of My Life

Your 11 Questions to Answer:

1. Why did you start blogging?
2. If you could change one thing in the past, what would it be and why?
3. What inspires you and why?
4. What is your best childhood memory?
5. What is your favorite song?
6. Where is your ideal place to live?
7. What is your greatest personal achievement?
8. What was your very first memory of?
9. Do you prefer milk or no milk in coffee/tea and why?
10. At what age did you learn to ride a bike?
11. What’s one lesson you’ve learned so far in life?

Leave your link in my comments so we can all read your answers!

Yes, I was “that mom” today.

“Wait, stop,…what’s that smell...” were some of the first thoughts in my mind as we entered my new chiropractors office today. Now normally I try to schedule appointments around my son’s school schedule so I don’t have to worry about him running a muck but I hurt my back last week and by Tuesday of this week it was all I could do to not cry every time I moved. So to the chiropractor we went with my kids in tow. I was “that mom” today too where my toddler was into EVERYTHING, starting with dumping his toys all over the waiting area while I hurried through paperwork. Followed by gracing us all with a very smelly diaper.

Thank you to the receptionist (and a former nanny) for watching my little ones while I was adjusted because the Curious George magnet toy and the bribery of watching a cartoon did not settle the toddler into submission (and no I was not above using technology to quiet him down this time). Side note: my children were visible to me so no I didn’t leave them with a total stranger. He was causing a ruckus, while the chiropractor assured me he was ok, I was internally having a panic attack at his crazy antics. I am sure all the while they were thinking, wow this mom has no control over her kids, but in my defense I was lying face down on a table while someone cracked my back. So no I did not have control over my kids during this time…but do I ever…can one really have control over tiny little Tasmanian devil? Just kidding…sort of.

Not only did the chiropractor adjust me, but also suggested a therapy to ease some of my back pain, continuing the chaos from my toddler. Honestly the therapy helped a lot, but once again I was face down on a table while I had wires and some therapy machine hooked up to my back while the toddler tried to climb on my back.  The chiropractor and staff were wonderful and I was thankful that no other clients were in the office while I visited. However I don’t think I will be bringing my toddler to any other appointments any time soon. I am sure being “that mom” is a parenting rite of passage, but I wouldn’t mind doing without this rite of passage whenever possible.

To all the other parents out there that have been there. I feel for you, all of you, because being that mom is difficult. Hang in there, it will pass. At least that is what I keep telling myself to get through the day, that and a large glass of wine. Cheers!

Toddlers and tantrums

Toddlers are an interesting breed of tiny little humans. They repeatedly ask for something and once they finally are granted said object, item what have you, it can be world war three melt down mode. At least in our house. Let me say this. I love my kids. They are my world. Am I a fan of the terrible twos? Not. At. All. Am I looking forward to three’s? Even. Less. And the fun part. As soon as my little mister turns four I am lucky enough to repeat the terrible twos with little miss. Yay… Now I do know I am so lucky to have these two and I know these are just life stages, but omg do they have to be so dang challenging? They can be little monsters then turn around and do the sweetest thing which makes everything worth it. At least that is how it is at our house. My toddler proceeded to head butt me from behind today while I was having my morning coffee. That was super fun and might I say ouch! But then he lays his little head on my should and give me hugs and kisses. Adorable.  Being a parent is one of the best and toughest jobs I’ve faced. Being a parent of a toddler is a whole new level. I swear they are all liittle creatures with a mixture of innocence and mischievousness fighting for one or the other to emerge. In my little mister’s case mischievousness tends to win out. Yet he does it in such an innocent way too that it’s hard to stay upset. I know that his strong personality traits will pay off in the long run. He’s curious, strong willed, independent, determined and persistent. As a toddler these are difficult traits to work with but as an adult it can help build a successful life. I only hope the teenage years are better. I’m actually looking forward to those years over the terrible twos, just kidding. Those years can wait! For now I’ll relish on the crazy chaos of the toddler years. After all they are adorable little monsters, frustrating to no end, but make life completely worth it all.